Member-only story
Why Dealing With Customer Service Makes You Want to Smash Your Phone
And How to Actually Survive
By R. T. Garner
Okay, let us dig into this. Another day, another joke of a customer service experience — the kind where you end up being the punchline, and the universe laughs at your misfortune. We’ve all been there: you call in for a simple issue, thinking it’ll be a quick fix. How naive of you! Instead, you’re thrust into an ordeal where everything seems designed to test your patience. And what’s waiting for you at the gates of hell? Satan’s handy automated helper.
The Automated Hell Machine: “I’m Sorry, I Didn’t Catch That…”
The moment you dial in, you’re greeted by that demon-possessed robot voice. You know the one. It sounds like it’s fresh out of a dystopian sci-fi movie: “Please listen carefully as our menu options have changed…” First of all, nobody cares if the menu changes. I didn’t memorize your last one, so spare me the preamble. I just want to talk to a human. But no, you can’t have that. Not yet. First, you must pass the trial of the automated system.
